The baby I didn’t think I could cope with

Arthur is nearly 6 months old.

My little angel boy – 100% easier than my first boy (and I’m sure that’s not just because he’s the second born).  

He thinks his older brother is just the funniest thing in the whole world (I’m not sure about funniest…perhaps most annoying?!).

He’s recovering from bronchiolitis, which, I’m not gonna lie has been pretty horrendous.  For it just to be a virus without treatment is unbelievable.  It also made me think why a parent would choose not to vaccinate against whooping cough.  Seeing my sweet boy struggling to breathe with a virus he can’t be vaccinated against is one thing…but something preventable?!!

Advertisements

Cold Feet

*contains spoilers*

Watching the new episode of Cold Feet damn near broke my heart.

Since having Arthur it’s the first thing I’ve watched dealing with abortion.

When I found out I was pregnant with him, I was certain I couldnt go through with it.  Theodore had just turned 6 months old and I had only just come to terms with motherhood the first time around.

I told my husband I couldn’t do it.  But he begged me not to have an abortion.  I also know he would never have forgiven me if I had an abortion.

Arthur is 15 weeks old and I am struggling.  Motherhood is hard.  Having 2 under 2 is really hard.  I am burnt out.  My marriage is crumbling.

I can’t help but wonder if I should have followed my gut instincts.  But then I look at Arthur’s face and know he’s meant for me.

It all happens for a reason but man, it is hard.

Cold Feet

*contains spoilers*

Watching the new episode of Cold Feet damn near broke my heart.

Since having Arthur it’s the first thing I’ve watched dealing with abortion.

When I found out I was pregnant with him, I was certain I couldnt go through with it.  Theodore had just turned 6 months old and I had only just come to terms with motherhood the first time around.

I told my husband I couldn’t do it.  But he begged me not to have an abortion.  I also know he would never have forgiven me if I had an abortion.

Arthur is 15 weeks old and I am struggling.  Motherhood is hard.  Having 2 under 2 is really hard.  I am burnt out.  My marriage is crumbling.

I can’t help but wonder if I should have followed my gut instincts.  But then I look at Arthur’s face and know he’s meant for me.

It all happens for a reason but man, it is hard.

A mum of two boys

So boy no.2 arrived on the 5th June at 11am.  A mighty 8lb10, which for my 4ft11, 7 stone frame is pretty incredible.

The birth experience was almost the polar opposite to my induction with boy no.1.  And the recovery also.

So I am now a mum to two boys. How crazy is that?! I still find it incredible that I am a mum, let alone twice over.  I am responsible for these 2 human beings that I created and developed in my body.  Wow.  What an absolute honour and privilege.

As much as it is hard, and will undoubtedly get harder, I am so lucky to have been able to do this 

The end is nigh

37 weeks pregnant.  3 (or so) weeks to go and it cannot come quickly enough.

To say it’s been a struggle is an understatement.  I haven’t been able to give anything my full attention, particularly over the last few weeks and it seems the end of my pregnancy is going to be plagued with every day illnesses that I can’t really treat.

Hurry up baby 2!

The wait begins

So I am nesting already.  Even though I’m wiped out from 2 nights of pretty much no sleep from Theodore, and mega heartburn, plus serious breathlessness, I am still nesting.

In 10 mins I’ve ruthlessly gone through a drawer of clothes and thrown stuff out, and gotten rid of most stuff from under Theodore’s cot.  I’m now planning on cleaning the kitchen.  After cleaning the fridge yesterday, I’ve now got the urge to defrost the freezer.  Perhaps a job for tomorrow?

When I was pregnant with Theodore my nesting kicked in at about 37 weeks – when I’d started annual leave preceeding maternity leave.

So this time it’s 4 weeks earlier and I’m still most definitely at work (for another 5 weeks).  Would be amazing if baby appeared a couple of weeks earlier than last time (induction a week late). Maybe then having baby and moving house won’t happen at the same time…

33 weeks

It’s been a while since my last post.  Not surprisingly, looking after a one year old and being pretty heavily pregnant is tiring and doesn’t leave me with a lot of free time.

The return to work has been ok.  It gives me a break from carrying Theodore around which is quite nice as I’m suffering from a lot of back and hip pain this time around.

On top of that we’re dealing with buying a new house which is desperately needed for baby 2.  It’s looking increasingly unlikely that we’ll be in the house before baby arrives – but I almost think that might be better as I’ll be able to help more with packing and unpacking.

Working mummies

How do you do it? 

I’ve been back at work for a grand total of two days.  And I’m shattered.  Granted, being 6 months pregnant probably doesn’t help but I feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions.

My house is a mess. I’m a mess. I don’t feel like I’m able to give anything the attention it needs – especially Theodore and Bruce the cat.

I guess it probably gets easier but I never thought I could be a stay-at-home mum, but it’s looking increasingly likely that I will need to be after baby 2 arrives.

As much as I want to be an example to my boys, I don’t know how it can be done.

Full-time working mummies – I salute you!

Overflowing with pride

Yesterday Theodore attended his second ‘settling in’ session at nursery, ready for when I return to work.  These two, I’ve been there with him the whole time to see how he is.

But yesterday he was only with me for about 5 or so minutes, then disappeared off to do some painting and then came back in the room playing with toys and books and spending time with his key worker.

I have never been so proud of anything before. Now I know what it means when people say they felt like their heart would explode.

My boy was so confident and happy.

This past week

In a week, we found out that we’re having another boy.  I will be the mum of two boys, with a 15 month age gap.  I foresee fights and squabbling in the future.

My sister had her baby.  Two weeks early but beautiful.  Harry. Three boys in the family in 15 months.  It’s definitely a bit of a culture shock when it was just my sister and I growing up.

And then my boy has suddenly discovered he can crawl, say mama (normally when food is around – so I’m associated with food.  Good or bad thing?!), stand by himself, take a few steps by himself and say cat.  How did that happen!??

I’ve also finalised my return to work date and organised Theodore’s introduction sessions at daycare.  

What a crazy week!!!!