I thought it was my month

I was convinced that October would be the month I would see the line and fall pregnant.  Utterly convinced.  It would’ve meant that possibly Jonny’s family could have extended their stay by a week next summer and hopefully seen their great grandchild.  But it wasn’t to be.

But maybe that was putting pressure on my body and it just didn’t conform.  I don’t know.  All I know is that 5 months down the line I am frustrated.  Each month I feel like a failure.  I had so many signs – or what I thought were signs.  I had nausea pretty much every day in my luteal phase.  To where at some points I was convinced I would be sick.  Maybe my body summoned those thoughts to trick me.

So onto the next month.  I’m tracking temperatures, tracking any ‘symptoms’ (maybe i shouldn’t do that… perhaps after ovulation I won’t track them…) and using a Clearblue fertility monitor so that I catch my most fertile time.  Apparently on any one cycle you have a 33% of falling pregnant… even if you time it perfectly.  Lets see if this month is the 1 in 3…

Feeling awful

Oh my I feel terrible. Last night I felt really nauseous from about 6-9pm and I’ve been feeling like it all day too.

I’m wondering if it’s a migraine trying to come but I seriously hope this is our month. The last time I felt like this was when I came off the pill (due to hormonal changes). Please let this month be the one, I’m so ready!

Is it this month?

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything this bad.

I’m symptom spotting for the first time since my first normal period.

I had an ovulation dip then 4 dpo I had another dip (potentially implantation?)… And a further 2 days of low temperatures. What does that mean? I thought they were meant to recover straight away.

I’ve been dizzy, had gas, heartburn, feeling tired, broken sleep with funny dreams, severe backache and Bruce has been weird with me all day. My stomach, or rather bottom of my stomach has felt weird the past 2 days… Like super weak cramps.

I suppose I’m just hoping it happens this month as Jonny’s family would be over for John officially becoming a Deacon in June and according to my app, I would be due at that time.

I’m sure my period will appear as normal in 4 days time…