I thought it was my month

I was convinced that October would be the month I would see the line and fall pregnant.  Utterly convinced.  It would’ve meant that possibly Jonny’s family could have extended their stay by a week next summer and hopefully seen their great grandchild.  But it wasn’t to be.

But maybe that was putting pressure on my body and it just didn’t conform.  I don’t know.  All I know is that 5 months down the line I am frustrated.  Each month I feel like a failure.  I had so many signs – or what I thought were signs.  I had nausea pretty much every day in my luteal phase.  To where at some points I was convinced I would be sick.  Maybe my body summoned those thoughts to trick me.

So onto the next month.  I’m tracking temperatures, tracking any ‘symptoms’ (maybe i shouldn’t do that… perhaps after ovulation I won’t track them…) and using a Clearblue fertility monitor so that I catch my most fertile time.  Apparently on any one cycle you have a 33% of falling pregnant… even if you time it perfectly.  Lets see if this month is the 1 in 3…


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