Turning 29

Truth be hold, I was not looking forward to my birthday this year. Losing 1st baby has hit me hard and hanging out with a load of people so close to it, drinking alcohol just wasn’t great.  Especially as we had said we would get an early scan done on my birthday (would’ve been 7w+6).

Right now I struggle to not tell people what I’ve been through as I feel I need to excuse myself if I’m not acting as my usual self (although, to be honest, I doubt its that obvious).  But in actual fact its been a blessing in disguise.

Its made me move on a bit more. People don’t need to know my heart ache. I’m not going to bring others down.

My Eurovision birthday party also proved me with another ‘reason’ to be positive. A friend’s friend was having trouble conceiving (had no whisper of a pregnancy) so went to doctors. Had a number of tests done and the poor girl was faced with “um. Genetically you’re a guy” (I’m sure the Dr put it in a better way, I’m just paraphrasing). She had all the usual girl bits on the outside, but the wrong chromosome so her womb has never developed – it was teeny tiny. I just do not know how she coped with that.  Anyhow, she was given some drugs to expand her womb and was actually able to carry a baby… Twins in actual fact. She had to use a donor egg but she carried them.

It is just such an inspirational story that even if your body hasn’t cooperated there are often ways that you can have a baby.

The thought of seeing a doctor in a few weeks is utterly petrifying BUT that story gives me hope.

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