My triggers

It may seem like I’m obsessing over my early miscarriage but I honestly can’t shift it.  I’m also going with the ‘I’m fine’ response to anyone that asks.

I have the obvious sadness triggers – baby ads, people having babies, etc…the usual things that anybody wanting to be a parents is hit with.

But my current trigger is…… working from home.

Yes that wonderful perk of my employment has now become my mortal enemy.  Every time I log on and do some work, my mind wanders.

It wanders to the place where, just over 3 weeks ago, I was sitting in exactly the same place that I am now, thinking “hmm… something feels different”. So I take a test.  Negative.  Instantly I opened up the ttc forums that I used to frequent “help, anyone ever had this…”

Working from home will forever be associated with the time that I found out that our much wanted baby said bye bye for  the first time.

It’s sad because I used to enjoy working from home so much.  Now it almost fills me with dread.  If it wasn’t for my beloved kitty I think I would be in floods of tears at my laptop right now.

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