It may seem like I’m obsessing over my early miscarriage but I honestly can’t shift it. I’m also going with the ‘I’m fine’ response to anyone that asks.
I have the obvious sadness triggers – baby ads, people having babies, etc…the usual things that anybody wanting to be a parents is hit with.
But my current trigger is…… working from home.
Yes that wonderful perk of my employment has now become my mortal enemy. Every time I log on and do some work, my mind wanders.
It wanders to the place where, just over 3 weeks ago, I was sitting in exactly the same place that I am now, thinking “hmm… something feels different”. So I take a test. Negative. Instantly I opened up the ttc forums that I used to frequent “help, anyone ever had this…”
Working from home will forever be associated with the time that I found out that our much wanted baby said bye bye for the first time.
It’s sad because I used to enjoy working from home so much. Now it almost fills me with dread. If it wasn’t for my beloved kitty I think I would be in floods of tears at my laptop right now.