18w+3

I finally summoned up the courage to tell hubby how I was feeling.  My struggles with accepting my changing body.  He’s definitely reassured me… Seems to think I have the ‘pregnancy glow’ but I’m not convinced.

I think he may have realised that being pregnant isnt a walk in the park.

Today I’ve done too much.  I’m used to getting loads of stuff done on a Saturday but I just can’t do it.  Needed a nap earlier to function normally and now I’m struggling to stay awake during the rugby (and I REALLY want to watch it!).  I suppose it could be from my flu jab this morning making me tired.  definitely looking forward to bed today.

I’ve been invited to a friend’s birthday… Bowling.  I’m honestly not sure I can go.  And it sucks.  But my back hurts doing regular day-to-day, so I don’t think bowling is a wise move.   October is a mental month for us so I definitely don’t want to overdo it.

Training course

So today for the first time in a long time, I’ve been in London.

I attended some training for work.

I am totally drained.  It makes me so glad that I don’t have to deal with this commute on a daily basis like I used to.  I am tired.  All the steps have totally worn me out and feel breathless all the time.

I often feel breathless and I’m blaming baby for shuffling everything around and squishing my lungs. 

Big props all you mummies-to-be that do this on a daily basis.  Being on a train whilst pregnant is not fun.

16w+5

Come on baby kick.

I just want to know you’re in there.  Kick me all you want.

I do seem to have a bit of a belly which is giving me a bit of confidence that things are progressing as they should.

I am struggling to accept how I look.  This seems really pathetic and should be the last thing on my mind, but ive always been tiny. 4ft11 and never weighed more than 7st2.  I’ve always had a flat stomach and always been a size 6-8.  Now I’m starting to spread.

I am happy as I know this means baby is shuffling everything around but its still weird.  I don’t feel comfortable in anything.  I’m too ‘big’ for my regular clothes, but not big enough for maternity.  I find myself living in my Pilates trousers whenever I’m at home.

I guess this is another pregnancy stage to go through – the stage where nothing fits.

In other news for the first time in years, I actually have nails.  which is weird.  It’s super weird on a touch screen.  The silly thing is, because I’ve never had nails, I’ve never learnt how to file them properly and to shape them.  Think I need to get some lessons from my sister.

15w

I think I’m going a little crazy.

Last night at book club the other pregnant girl was telling everyone all about her baby (she’s only a week ahead of me) and ever since I have been super anxious about baby.

I’m not sure why.  what does it matter to me if she’s heard her baby’s heartbeat?! There’s not limited pregnant women spaces at book club.

I think it was just unfortunate timing.  It’s been a few weeks since my scan and once again I’m slipping into the crazy/paranoid stage where I am convinced something will go wrong.

I neeeeed to hear the heartbeat but I don’t have a doppler and my midwife isn’t getting back to me.

The next 6 days will be interesting with this anxiety.