New Year’s Eve (32w+1)

On the eve of the year I will (hopefully) become a parent, I felt it apt to summarise my year.

2015 started with hubby and I trying to conceive.  We were 7 months in, without a hint of success.
But we were thinking positive.

The next milestone was mum’s 60th birthday party that we had organised.  It was a blinding success even if I do say so myself.  We all had a blast.

The next milestone was 26 April.  Our first positive pregnancy test, a day before our 2nd wedding anniversary. The next day we went to Whipsnade Zoo for our wedding anniversary.  At this point we were happy to be celebrating both our wedding anniversary and baby.  It had taken us 11 months to get here.

Then we hit 7 May.  Election Day and the day our world fell apart.  We had an early miscarriage.
I don’t remember ever feeling so low.  It took a long while for us to come out of that low.
But we came out the other side stronger.

Then comes 20 June.  And I can’t quite believe my eyes.  We have another positive.

I tested every couple of days for a while.  I think I tested every Wednesday and Saturday until we got to at least 6 weeks.

At 8 weeks we booked to go for an early scan.  We heard our croissant’s heartbeat and saw something in my belly.  It was such a ‘pinch me’ moment.  It was the first time I saw hubby cry.
For us I think it was just the realisation that I could carry… at least for a few weeks.
It still seemed too good to be true.

We told our families the following day.  I don’t think they could believe it.

Going to our 12 week scan was the scariest.  We didn’t want this to be taken from us.  I was still paranoid that I couldn’t carry.

At 16 weeks I had a freak out.  Still my brain was telling me I couldn’t carry.  I was waiting for it all to go wrong but my midwife found the heartbeat.  Instant relief.

20 weeks was our anomaly scan – finally this thing in my belly is looking like a baby.  Woah… this was actually happening.

At 20w+3 we felt baby.  Recognisable kicks from the outside.  The most amazing thing I’ve ever felt.  I was addicted from that moment.

And here we are at 32w+2.  About to enter the year we’ll become parents.  About to hit baby no.1’s due date.

2015 was tough but amazing at the same time.  I am definitely stronger.
I’m sure 2016 will be just as tough but all the more amazing.

Bring on February so I can meet my baby.  The baby I’ve been carrying and preparing for life.


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