Meeting my health visitor

So today was the pre-baby ‘meet your health visitor’ meeting.

I always get worried about things like this for absolutely no reason.  I suppose because I know they’ll ask about domestic violence.  There’s never been any hint of it in our relationship but I get worried that I could say something that would make them think there is something.  It’s a ridiculous fear but it’s there nonetheless.

We discussed the family members we have around us, as well as any family illnesses etc, she asked if we struggled financially, did we own our home etc.

Lots of questions and seems I answered well as she said she doesn’t have any concerns about me/us and baby.

Which is a relief.

So we now have our Red Book which is something else I need to remember to take to hospital in my bag.  I suppose I should probably put it in the suitcase now so that I don’t forget.

It’s a really useful tool actually – all information about your child in one place.

As per usual there’s a whole load about breastfeeding and having to answer why if you’re not breastfeeding.  But that’s another blog post entirely.

Everything is a lot more real and I’m very much looking forward to meeting the troublemaker in my belly.

Wriggle down baby, engage and enter the world.

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36w+1

Everything is getting a bit more real – I’ve finished work.  2 weeks of annual leave, then maternity leave begins.
I thought I’d be bored but I honestly don’t have the energy to do any more than I am at the moment.

We went for our consultant appointment on Tuesday about the size of baby but they didn’t seem concerned.  I am a bit worried though that they’re not taking my (and my midwife’s) concerns seriously.

We’re booked for another growth scan on Tuesday and to see a consultant straight after.  Hopefully there’ll be more news then. 
I know they see hundreds of women a week but I just can’t help but be worried about having an above average size baby with my smaller than average body.

I know it’s safer for a baby to come out when it’s ready BUT I’m paranoid about the baby getting stuck, or stressed due to its size not being compatible with me.

Hopefully Tuesday we will have at least a plan in place for if i hit 40 weeks (as my midwife requested).

It’s been a funny old day (33w+6)

Today started with me being sad and jealous.

My sister’s friend was due a month after me and her baby arrived today. 
I shouldn’t be jealous as I’m sure she would rather have cooked her baby a bit longer – being born at 30 weeks is obviously going to be a massive worry. 
But I’m jealous as she got to meet her baby before me.
But now I’ve moved to happiness for her.

So I merrily go to my midwife appointment.  For some reason today I was nervous.  Normally I’m not but my brain was telling me to panic.
Baby was kicking up a storm so my nerves/adrenaline were apparently having an impact inside too.

All is ok… except my growth chart.
Baby/bump has been consistently well over the expected growth by at least 2 weeks.
Hubby and I had always suspected that there may be complications due to my height and build but honestly, I’d forgotten about them as everything has been going swimmingly.

I’ve been referred for a growth scan.  My midwife feels it’s just because I’m short and petite (4ft11 and a size 6/8 before pregnancy) that bump is ‘bigger’ because there’s nowhere else to go but out.

But I can’t help being worried.  What if we find out something is wrong with baby? What if baby is teeny tiny? What if baby is a giant?

I knew this day would come but it doesn’t mean I was prepared for it.

33w and a due date

Today we hit 33 weeks.  It also feels like I’ve hit a wall.  I do not want to be going to work.

Perhaps that’s due to a number of things and not just pregnancy.

Today would have been my grandad’s birthday.  He would have loved to be involved in becoming a great-grandad. It’s sad that he’s just one of many who would have been enjoying this moment with us but he’s not.

And then I come to the main reason why I’m more than a bit tearful today (and want to lock myself away from everyone).  Today was baby no.1’s due date.  6 January. And I don’t quite know how to be today.  I’m sad at the life that never got to be, but I should also be taking this moment to be thankful for the baby growing in my belly that has gotten to 33 weeks.

I’m sure today will be a rollercoaster of emotions.  Let’s hope the baby in my belly gives me lots of kicks and rolls of reassurance to get me through the day in one piece.