33w and a due date

Today we hit 33 weeks.  It also feels like I’ve hit a wall.  I do not want to be going to work.

Perhaps that’s due to a number of things and not just pregnancy.

Today would have been my grandad’s birthday.  He would have loved to be involved in becoming a great-grandad. It’s sad that he’s just one of many who would have been enjoying this moment with us but he’s not.

And then I come to the main reason why I’m more than a bit tearful today (and want to lock myself away from everyone).  Today was baby no.1’s due date.  6 January. And I don’t quite know how to be today.  I’m sad at the life that never got to be, but I should also be taking this moment to be thankful for the baby growing in my belly that has gotten to 33 weeks.

I’m sure today will be a rollercoaster of emotions.  Let’s hope the baby in my belly gives me lots of kicks and rolls of reassurance to get me through the day in one piece.

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