Cold Feet

I’m only just getting round to catching up with the new series of Cold Feet.  I enjoyed it when it was first on, but now I seem to really understand it – as well as enjoy it.

One thing that really resonates is the strength of the friendships.  I’m so lucky to have guy and girl friends that I’ve known for years and can be brutally honest.

Lookig forward though, I hope Theodore can be friends with my friends and see them as parent-figures if Jonny or I am not around.  Just like Adam’s son in Cold Feet.

Oh shit.

I took a test.  It was positive.  Theodore is only 7 & 1/2 months old.

We wanted kids close together but not this close.

Our plans for getting a bigger home are completely screwed.  We will need to buy a 3 bedroom home and compromise a lot. 

I don’t know how it will work with returning to work.  I was due to go back in March and I think this baby will be due in June.

I don’t think I can be that far… maybe a month as my cycles were always longer than usual. 

We will have a 15 month gap.

Two babies under two. 

How will I cope?! 

Do i regret this?

Being a mum is hard.  I knew it would be hard but I had no idea how hard.

I love my son with all my heart, but I think that I, and my marriage, would be healthier without him.

Does that make me a bad mum?

I’m increasingly worried that how I feel isn’t right.  I don’t know if it’s just stress due to a number of factors, in combination with sleep deprivation or if it is something else that I need to see a doctor about.