Cold Feet

*contains spoilers*

Watching the new episode of Cold Feet damn near broke my heart.

Since having Arthur it’s the first thing I’ve watched dealing with abortion.

When I found out I was pregnant with him, I was certain I couldnt go through with it.  Theodore had just turned 6 months old and I had only just come to terms with motherhood the first time around.

I told my husband I couldn’t do it.  But he begged me not to have an abortion.  I also know he would never have forgiven me if I had an abortion.

Arthur is 15 weeks old and I am struggling.  Motherhood is hard.  Having 2 under 2 is really hard.  I am burnt out.  My marriage is crumbling.

I can’t help but wonder if I should have followed my gut instincts.  But then I look at Arthur’s face and know he’s meant for me.

It all happens for a reason but man, it is hard.

Advertisements

Cold Feet

*contains spoilers*

Watching the new episode of Cold Feet damn near broke my heart.

Since having Arthur it’s the first thing I’ve watched dealing with abortion.

When I found out I was pregnant with him, I was certain I couldnt go through with it.  Theodore had just turned 6 months old and I had only just come to terms with motherhood the first time around.

I told my husband I couldn’t do it.  But he begged me not to have an abortion.  I also know he would never have forgiven me if I had an abortion.

Arthur is 15 weeks old and I am struggling.  Motherhood is hard.  Having 2 under 2 is really hard.  I am burnt out.  My marriage is crumbling.

I can’t help but wonder if I should have followed my gut instincts.  But then I look at Arthur’s face and know he’s meant for me.

It all happens for a reason but man, it is hard.

Life’s too short

A close friend of mine has just found out her dad has cancer.  She is a fair bit younger than me, and her dad is a lot younger than mine.

It’s really made me realise how short life is and how much I need to appreciate it. Both of my parents are in their 60s. My grandad was pretty ill when he was in his 60s (although obviously didn’t show it to us grandkids). 

My dad used to smoke, a lot, and I’ve accepted that the news of cancer in the future is a very really possibility. 

The surprise news of baby no.2 has knocked me for six, but with my friends’ news it’s made me think a little harder about the frailty of life.  I seriously considered aborting this child but I wouldn’t have forgiven myself – Jonny wouldn’t have forgiven me either. Today we also got the results from our nuchal screening through and baby is low risk for Downs, Edwards and Patau sydrome. Baby is well and I’m accepting this news.  I take life and health for granted as so far, my immediate family is all really well.

Don’t take life for granted.  Grab it by the balls.