The wait begins

So I am nesting already.  Even though I’m wiped out from 2 nights of pretty much no sleep from Theodore, and mega heartburn, plus serious breathlessness, I am still nesting.

In 10 mins I’ve ruthlessly gone through a drawer of clothes and thrown stuff out, and gotten rid of most stuff from under Theodore’s cot.  I’m now planning on cleaning the kitchen.  After cleaning the fridge yesterday, I’ve now got the urge to defrost the freezer.  Perhaps a job for tomorrow?

When I was pregnant with Theodore my nesting kicked in at about 37 weeks – when I’d started annual leave preceeding maternity leave.

So this time it’s 4 weeks earlier and I’m still most definitely at work (for another 5 weeks).  Would be amazing if baby appeared a couple of weeks earlier than last time (induction a week late). Maybe then having baby and moving house won’t happen at the same time…

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Oh shit.

I took a test.  It was positive.  Theodore is only 7 & 1/2 months old.

We wanted kids close together but not this close.

Our plans for getting a bigger home are completely screwed.  We will need to buy a 3 bedroom home and compromise a lot. 

I don’t know how it will work with returning to work.  I was due to go back in March and I think this baby will be due in June.

I don’t think I can be that far… maybe a month as my cycles were always longer than usual. 

We will have a 15 month gap.

Two babies under two. 

How will I cope?! 

One year on.

A year ago today I did my first pregnancy test and it was positive. 11 months into trying for a baby.

But that little bean didn’t stick around.  It said  bye bye at just over 5 weeks.

Today that little lost bean has been on my mind a lot.  I can remember as clear as day the feeling of taking that test, seeing it say positive and working my way down the stairs to tell hubby the news whilst he was setting up his new TV.  I can remember the look on his face when the news started to sink in, and the tears that started falling.
I remember we sat on the sofa for quite a while just digesting the news.  We were pregnant and we’re going to be parents.

I remember not being able to eat the dinner I had made (minced pork hotpot).

What saddens me is that I can’t remember so clearly the test I did when I fell pregnant with Theodore.

I’m glad I have him here and have been distracted with him today (8 week injections) otherwise today would have been a very sad day.  Hubby doesn’t seem to have any recollection of the importance of today even when I told him his TV is 1 today.

The magic number – 40

Happy due date to me…

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Celebrated yesterday by having a mildly uncomfortable sweep at my consultant appointment.  Definitely felt slightly violated but it’s a mean to an end.  I’m not sure my cervix was particularly favourable but it’s worth a try.
Felt uncomfortable all evening and then had some mild period-like cramps but they seem to have disappeared.
I’m hoping that was the start of at least ripening my cervix a little.

I’m so glad I had the appointment though.  We finally have a plan in place so stop me going so far overdue.  I think they’ve finally realised that potentially my size and baby may be incompatible – technically it means baby is thriving as according to bump measurements, baby is over 8lb but I know they’re pretty notoriously wrong, but regardless, looking at my size I am convinced I have a chunky monkey about to come out of me.
The consultant added to my notes that shoulder dystocia is a possibility so he’s already identified that a plan b may be needed, but we’ll try for a ‘natural’ birth first and see what happens.
Initially my thoughts were that I don’t want an emergency c-section but this is a happy medium; we have plan a and plan b identified.

In other news, yesterday I woke up with stretch marks on my belly… look away now if it’s too much information…massively bulbous belly with war wounds:

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Any road, the end is in sight.  I’m looking forward to meeting this chunky monkey and discovering the personality of this troublemaker.

I’m also rather looking forward to parma ham and an alcoholic beverage.  May have to ask my mum to put some in my fridge for whenever we arrive home with baby.

39+2, trying all the old wives tales

So far this week I’ve covered off curry and raspberry leaf tea.

Today is the day for fresh pineapple.

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Once I’m done eating I’ll get on my ball again.  Baby still hasn’t started to engage yet though, but definitely getting some unusual pains occasionally and had some period-like pains last night whilst going to sleep.

Honestly I’m done waiting on baby.
I’m also trying making plans so that baby might interrupt, so my sister is on holiday in Ireland and I’ve pre-booked tickets to see Deadpool in IMax tomorrow… I figure if nothing else that might make baby come.

37 weeks

Well I am fed up.

Baby has been measuring over the 90th centile constantly on growth scans and is currently estimated to be 6.99lb.  Unless baby comes soon, I will have a big baby.

We saw a consultant (turns out it was a registrar as my consultant isn’t available for 9 weeks). They highlighted concerns that my pelvis might not be big enough for baby as it hasn’t started engaging yet.  This was always a concern for me and a possible concern for my midwife.
We were told to come back next week where, if baby isnt starting to engage, she would consider a c-section.

Hooray I thought, we have a plan in place (which is what my midwife wanted).  They then suggested a random blood test to check for gestational diabetes. 

So we’re booking our next consultant appointment and get called in again by someone new. 
A different consultant has looked at my notes, determined I’m probably not high risk even if baby is big and I need to have a glucose tolerance test next week.

So in the space of 2 mins I’ve been told that im a/possibly high risk, we’re addressing your concerns and will see you next week, to b/probably not high risk but we’ll do a glucose tolerance test to be sure.

Meaning that now I have to try and get an appointment with my community midwife next week… and there’s none available as it’s  now short notice.

Throughout my pregnancy I’ve always been thinking that the NHS is amazing.
Not so anymore.  They don’t seem to understand the impact this all had on me – unnecessary stress and worry when I finally felt we were getting somewhere.

My concern is about baby getting stressed if it can’t get into my pelvis… yet the consultant who didn’t see me (only read my notes) doesn’t see it as a problem.

When I got home I read up on glucose tolerance tests.
Apparently after 36 weeks the results are unreliable anyway and a random test should be used.

So seems the registrar might have actually been right but instead I’m now in limbo, again, with a test that might not show anything even if I do have gestational diabetes.

On the growth scans I believe at some points it was indicating baby’s size is 40w1 so I’m hoping my body will make some attempts at starting labour soon, even if baby can’t engage.

Meeting my health visitor

So today was the pre-baby ‘meet your health visitor’ meeting.

I always get worried about things like this for absolutely no reason.  I suppose because I know they’ll ask about domestic violence.  There’s never been any hint of it in our relationship but I get worried that I could say something that would make them think there is something.  It’s a ridiculous fear but it’s there nonetheless.

We discussed the family members we have around us, as well as any family illnesses etc, she asked if we struggled financially, did we own our home etc.

Lots of questions and seems I answered well as she said she doesn’t have any concerns about me/us and baby.

Which is a relief.

So we now have our Red Book which is something else I need to remember to take to hospital in my bag.  I suppose I should probably put it in the suitcase now so that I don’t forget.

It’s a really useful tool actually – all information about your child in one place.

As per usual there’s a whole load about breastfeeding and having to answer why if you’re not breastfeeding.  But that’s another blog post entirely.

Everything is a lot more real and I’m very much looking forward to meeting the troublemaker in my belly.

Wriggle down baby, engage and enter the world.

36w+1

Everything is getting a bit more real – I’ve finished work.  2 weeks of annual leave, then maternity leave begins.
I thought I’d be bored but I honestly don’t have the energy to do any more than I am at the moment.

We went for our consultant appointment on Tuesday about the size of baby but they didn’t seem concerned.  I am a bit worried though that they’re not taking my (and my midwife’s) concerns seriously.

We’re booked for another growth scan on Tuesday and to see a consultant straight after.  Hopefully there’ll be more news then. 
I know they see hundreds of women a week but I just can’t help but be worried about having an above average size baby with my smaller than average body.

I know it’s safer for a baby to come out when it’s ready BUT I’m paranoid about the baby getting stuck, or stressed due to its size not being compatible with me.

Hopefully Tuesday we will have at least a plan in place for if i hit 40 weeks (as my midwife requested).

It’s been a funny old day (33w+6)

Today started with me being sad and jealous.

My sister’s friend was due a month after me and her baby arrived today. 
I shouldn’t be jealous as I’m sure she would rather have cooked her baby a bit longer – being born at 30 weeks is obviously going to be a massive worry. 
But I’m jealous as she got to meet her baby before me.
But now I’ve moved to happiness for her.

So I merrily go to my midwife appointment.  For some reason today I was nervous.  Normally I’m not but my brain was telling me to panic.
Baby was kicking up a storm so my nerves/adrenaline were apparently having an impact inside too.

All is ok… except my growth chart.
Baby/bump has been consistently well over the expected growth by at least 2 weeks.
Hubby and I had always suspected that there may be complications due to my height and build but honestly, I’d forgotten about them as everything has been going swimmingly.

I’ve been referred for a growth scan.  My midwife feels it’s just because I’m short and petite (4ft11 and a size 6/8 before pregnancy) that bump is ‘bigger’ because there’s nowhere else to go but out.

But I can’t help being worried.  What if we find out something is wrong with baby? What if baby is teeny tiny? What if baby is a giant?

I knew this day would come but it doesn’t mean I was prepared for it.